Yeah, so.. it was Thanksgiving last week.. And there's nothing quite like a national holiday to drag a lurking blogger out of hiding to make some sort of witty comment on the holidays.

Alas, I am lacking in the witty comment section. So you'll have to make do with more of a serious approach.

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful, that much is very obvious and beaten to death by anyone and everyone. But a different thought hit me this year, and I feel compelled to expound on it.

This year I looked back, and thought of what i was thankful for last year. Amazingly enough (or maybe not amazing at all) they things I'm thankful for this year aren't the same things I was thankful for last year...

This might be a common occurrence for you, or something not thought of by you, as it was by me. So many years we go through this holiday, naming the things and people we are thankful for. But what if those things or people aren't around the next thankful holiday? That's kinda a depressing, even morbid thought - especially on a holiday during which we're supposed to be in high spirits. But seriously, it's gonna happen. That object of thankfulness wont always be around. So what's the point of thinking this through? What kind of action am I trying to elicit?

I'm not quite sure. I was hoping it would evidence itself to me by the time I finished writing. Maybe... “be thankful for what you have now, while you still have it,” or “show your thankfulness while you can, cuz you wont always be able to.” I don't know. Take what you want, leave want you don't.

Either way, this Thanksgiving season, I'm choosing to be thankful for those things that I don't have any longer... the things I was thankful for last year, as well as the things I'm thankful for this year. Even though those things aren't prominent in my life anymore, I can still be thankful for the memories, and what I've learned from them.

It works on people too

You know how they say positive reinforcement is the best way to train a dog? Like whenever "said dog" does something you want it to repeat you reward the stuffing out of it. I think the Dog Whisperer uses this technique. What's up with the Dog Whisperer anyways? I mean, seriously. I've never actually seen his show, but I've heard about it from perty much everyone I talk to. Even people who don't own dogs are telling me this guy is the holy grail of dog trainers. It's just kinda weird folks.

Anywho. Positive reinforcement. If you reward your dog for doing something right, chances are he's gonna repeat it. I propose to you, my dear reader, that this works on humans too.

I was recently in a position where I, your dear writer, made a decision to act on a certain situation as I deemed necessary. There was a group of people involved directly, and a larger group involved indirectly. I made a decision to insert myself into the situation and affect the people involved directly. This resulted in lots of meetings and discussion from the people that were involved indirectly.

That was confusing. But yeah, that's not too important.. my main thought is in the feedback I got. The main person involved in the group that was indirectly involved (haha that doesn't make a lick of sense. (what is a "lick" of sense? Seriously.. that's a creepy phrase)or does it?) (<--- that whole thing didn't make a lick of sense), said "thank you" when I did what I did, and then afterwards initiated all those meetings and discussions without involving me at all. So I'm seeing these meetings and discussions happen, but I don't know exactly what is being said.

I know what I did was the correct thing to do. I know the people indirectly involved agreed with my decision. But! It would have been much nicer if I had some more positive reinforcement in the decision I made. Not cuz I have a guilty conscious about what I did. More in that next time (assuming there's a next time) I have to act in a situation similar, I wont be prone to hesitate and ponder I wonder if the people indirectly involved are gonna approve or not. If the next situation is anything like this one I definitely would not want to skip my actions because I was concerned about the aftermath.

So that was all perty confusing. My main premise is this - if someone did something that you approve(d) of, let them know you approve. Even if you know they know that they did the right thing. Even if others are letting them know they did the right thing. Because maybe your lack of positive reinforcement will be the needed nudge for that person to skip out on their actions next time.

So, borrowing a phrase my Pastor likes, my "Sticky Statement" for this story is - "Treat people like dogs." :-)

Yeah so that last post kinda ended abruptly. I had a good mind to finish it, but that's kinda changed. So I'll just start a new one. :-)

But yeah, the house has changed me, I've learned a lot. Not just how to install ceramic tile, frame out a soffit, use a spray painter, fix a myriad of plumbing issues - the list goes on. I've also learned a lot about people, expectations.. and change.

I've never had so many inter personal relationships changes than in the past months. I've made new acquaintances, new friends, lost friends, learned things about people I thought I knew well - the list goes on.

I guess it can be summed up with - relationships change. Some for the better, some for the worst. I've changed and I've learned a lot. I've learned you can't trust implicitly. You can't expect people to understand you. People will not live up to your expectations. Friends will lie to you. They'll lie to themselves. They'll hurt you.

It's not all bad though. I've learned that some people are trustworthy. Not everyone will lie to you. Sometimes people will change for the better and not the worse. That some people care in words *and* in actions.

Change happens. Moving on can be harder said than done.

Here's to change.

JML

My life ended 5 months ago.

I have a 2008 day-by-day Dilbert calendar. I'm a Dilbert fan so it was nice to start the day with a laugh. I liked to keep it up to date. On occasion I'd get busier than normal and I'd go a few days without flipping it.

The current date on my Dilbert day-by-day calander is "Wednesday, March 26th," --- The day before my life ended.

On the 27th of March I started a project. I knew it would be a large, challenging, and time intensive one. I underestimated it.

The projects name is Arch. It's ongoing, never-ending, and completely and totally out for me.

Arch is a house Tim, Bobby, and I undertook as a quick investment property. A "flip" as they call it in real-estate biz. No I don't know who "they" are. And yes, Arch is *not* a flip. Flip gives the idea of a quick action. Like a pancake, ya cook it on one side, flip it, cook on the other side, flip it on your plate, and viola - It's done. You have a perty tasty flipped pancake in very little time.

Arch would be an awful pancake.

Our original goal for completion was Memorial day. A few weeks into the "project" one of us slipped and said "Labor Day." We all laughed, naturally, and said "if we're still here on Labor Day that would not be good HAHAHAHAHAH!!" Funny joke!

It's not funny anymore.

It's past Memorial Day. It's passed Labor Day. And my Dilbert Calender still thinks it's the 26th. Thankfully Arch is on the market with some very minor things that need to be completed (What? A bathroom can be considered minor. They don't even have bathrooms some places in the world. All they have is a hole in the ground. Hmm. We actually have a hole in the ground. Interesting...).

Hopefully Arch will sell soon and we can all move on with our lives. Interestingly enough it wont be the same. Not for me anyway. I've learned a lot from this "project." Arch has changed my life. Don't ask me "in a good way?" cuz I really don't know :-)

I've realize that there's 24 hours in a day and you can work through all of them.
I've learned that estimates are rarely accurate.
I've learned that hot tubs are meant to lure you in with their soothing, bubbly water, but they are actually a Pandora's box of un-fixable problems.
I've learned that paint can be applied in a variety of ways.
I've learned that anything can be spilled.
I've learned that Home Depot people do not have a clue what they are talking about. Find someone in a dirty shirt who is shopping there and ask them your questions. Seriously. A child could give you better advice than some Home Depot employees. They should all be ashamed. Stop looking at me weird.
There's more than one way to install an air conditioner.
Concrete and copper do not mix.

So the other day I'm sitting at this red light. This isn't your average light. It's loooong. Frustratingly long. I'm not sure what's worse: driving up to a light that just turned to yellow at the distance that is just "too far" to accelerate through, or being stuck in a long line of cars and when you finally get the green light you're the one who's stuck at the back of the line waiting to recieve the glaring red light that three people already drove through.

Anwyho, I'm sitting at this light. The light that frustrates me. Cuz it's a long red light. And it faces a gas station. And I see this guy get out of his car. He's gotta be in his 80's. He gets out of his car and hobbles over to his gas cap. Now I want you to remove the mental image hobble may give you of a fast stumble. This hobble was slow. This hobble would have given a a handicapped turtle a run for his money. In the time it took me to sit there impatiently at this light, the old guy managed to get out of his car and hobble (oh so slowly) to his gas cap. Now he didn't get the gas cap open. Just got there. And by this time my light was green and I was happily on my way.

This situation made me think tho. Well I guess that's obvious from the above text. Why else would I be writing about this? The relativity of time. For me spending time at this light drives me insane. It's a good three minutes of my day wasted by poor traffic control patterns. But for this guy those three minutes got him started on what was prolly a 15 minutes gas pumping session. And here I am getting all ruffled about wasted time, and he's happily hobbling (slowly) along.

Now yes, I know, he doesn't have anywhere to go except Bingo. But I'm wondering how relative time is. When we're rushed for time is this because outside circumstances are affecting our productivity? Or have we just not budgeted enough time into our lives for the mundane things of waiting at a three minutes red light. I wonder how much more relaxed I'd be if I allow more time for individual tasks instead of scheduling my day down to the minutes.

JML